February 3, 2011

I Chopped My Melons

This week marks my 10th Anniversary in NYC! 
Click Here to catch up on the story of how I ended up here!

Today we venture down a dark path in my life...
(beware I am about to use words like boobs, jugs and knockers!)

While at dance camp in the summer after 7th grade I began to develop a "real woman" figure. (Up until this point in my life, I had been wearing Limited 2 clothes and wishing I could wear "big girl jeans!") But nothing too crazy... until...

The summer after 8th grade. Dear Lord, WHY?!! 
I somehow ended up with the worlds largest breasts. Seriously. By the time I attended my first day of high school I was 5'2", 100 lbs and wearing a 34 DD. I looked like I needed to be walking on all fours. 
Check out the girl front row, first on the left.

Those jugs could feed an F*ing village! I was 14! 14!!!!!! 
This is NOT okay! Not okay I tell you!!

And while many women would be so excited to have knockers like those, I was not. 
On my first day of high school I was asked by a Sr Wrestler if I had socks he could borrow because he "forgot" his. Good thing I was naive because I didn't understand he thought I stuffed my bra. When I walked down the hall guys would yell "There goes Tit-ney, she is my breast-est friend!"  And the really fun part about school was the Jr. & Sr. girls. Apparently if you have blonde hair and Double Ds you are a whore. Which was always news to me considering I hadn't even kissed a boy until well into my freshman year of high school. BUT... I was a whore. Don't kid yourself... I am still hurt and pissed by all the things that were said. LOTS of tears were shed over those mean words. I could have cured a drought.

But nothing, NOTHING compares to what it felt like to dance with those melons. 
If you want to be a professional dancer, you are well on your way by 14 years old. It is totally unfair to be blind sided by things that take you from dancing at the barre to on the bar! 

My Dad took me to a total of 2 auditions that I can remember. And Thank You Jesus that he did! One was for American Ballet Theater during my freshman year, where I got no feedback as to why I was not accepted. The other audition was for Pennsylvania School of the Rock. Unlike most summer camp auditions, they tell you right then and there if you have been accepted. I had a great audition. I just knew that I got accepted. Then, the instructor separated us into 2 groups. Myself and one other girl were not put in either. I remember thinking this just had to be great! Because the other girl with me was a beautiful dancer! Then she asked to see our guardians. What came next didn't completely shock me... but it sure shocked ol' Daddy. 

It was explained to my "guardian" that I was a beautiful dancer but they would not be accepting me into their program because of my body. And she went on to explain that I needed to find a new career path as I would never be a ballerina with this figure. (The other girl was told she was fat and it was fixable!) I had known all my life that your body has a lot to do with your career in dance but it just never occurred to me that I would be told to stop trying because I had big ta-tas! Talk about shattered dreams. "You're a great dancer... but you should quit." WHAT?

Well, that was that. Dad & Mom are the bestest parents in the world! I got to chop my melons off and it was the best day ever! EVER!!! I have nothing but bad memories about those stupid boobs and I have never been happier with a decision in my life. I won a scholarship at every convention that year! I finally got to look cute like my friends in dance costumes and... best of all .... I got to dance for a living!!
Bye Bye Boobies!
Say what you will about plastic surgery, it changed my life for the better. 
I was 16 years old when I had my breast reduction. Medical insurance paid for a portion of it, as I was just going to need a chiropractor later. I didn't have the surgery just because I hated my tig-o-bitties, I had the surgery because those stupid things were keeping me from the life I had worked so hard for. I eat, sleep and breathe dancing. The only way someone is taking dance away from me is to kill me. Even if I lost my legs I would find a way to dance. It was my very first love affair and I cannot imagine my life without it. 

So good riddance to my jugs, melons, cans, ta-tas, titties, and boobs. You are unwelcome here! 


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  2. You are so brave for sharing this story and rockin' your melons at any size!

    (and I'm really sorry that high school girls were unkind to you about it. while I'm sure it's still hurtful, you can see with adult eyes now that they were so jealous, right? because as I recall it, few people at AHS could turn a head like WC, and it wasn't just because of her chest!!)

  3. I remember the name calling and especially remember that audition you spoke about. Not nice. I second what Laura says. They were jealous.

  4. I'm sure they were jealous. And yes, the adult me gets it. But I will never understand why teenage girls are so mean to one another.

    Lucky for me, all my flat chested friends were REAL friends and that's all that mattered!

  5. This post is fantastic, Whitney. Brave of you to share your story. I'm keenly aware of that very fine balance between obsessing over body and healthy body image, now that I have two girls. Seems to me that you (and your parents) were spot on. Congrats on being able to look at such a big decision with only positive thoughts.

    (I know very well the long term effects of high school mean girls. The good news is that you, my dear, clearly won in the end. :)

  6. Wow, i'm so sorry about HS. Stupid people :( I'm glad you're much happier now!

  7. I remember Gammy telling me this like it was yesterday.
    Love you!

  8. I went through the same thing but some how still have not managed to get the reduction I feel I completely deserve. Its humiliating in 7th and 8th grade to be called horrible names because your body matured much faster than other girls your age. I've heard it all and Im sure you did too. Im so glad you were able to get passed the negative effects of giant boobs. LOL Congrats!!



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